Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
