How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
