An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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