why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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