my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
