i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
