You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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