I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
