I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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