We're like a lot better than the average bears
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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