i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
