The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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