my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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