I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
