your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
