names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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