"it" just moved
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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