Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
