So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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