I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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