I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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