I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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