I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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