So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
