dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
