I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
