some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
