i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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