Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
