you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
