whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize