in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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