Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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