: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
