I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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