It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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