I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
