Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
