ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
