around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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