Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
