making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
