He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
