So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
