My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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