think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
