how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
as a side note pls kill me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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