I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I need water and some morals
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
