I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
