Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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