omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
